READING IS FUNDAMENTAL

The ability to read is an ever changing life skill.  As a young child, the elementary school I  attended - Reisterstown Elementary- offered a subscription of Highlights to the students.  This magazine started in 1946 and is still available today.  When we received the magazine, there was so much excitement in the classroom.  It was inspiring and offered a variety of topics, stories, puzzles, and word games.  Receiving this subscription made me feel so special.  The excitement grew in the classroom of happy faces as the teacher handed out the magazines.  I enjoyed going to the library - picking out mostly horse books and other children's books.  My favorite was C.W. Anderson's books about Blaze.  A beautiful horse series filled with adventure and friends.  As I matured, I recognized the power of books and magazines.  I read love stories, Nancy Drew mysteries, teenage magazines, the news papers, and Edgar Allan Poe novels until 3 am.  There were times I just could not put his novels down and could not wait until bedtime to read again.

In my forties, I began reading college books for my classes and later began reading self-help, motivational, and inspirational  books.  I attended motivational speaker symposiums to listen to the stories and achievements of well known people like Rudy Giuliani, Zig Zigler, and Colin Powell to name a few.  I have attended small and large author speaking events; my latest was Nicholas Sparks of the movie and book - Notebook.  I read industry related information about real estate, banking, and finance.  I also read novels and aspire to write full time some day.  The pleasure and knowledge derived from reading is one that never grows old.  Reading helps build the foundation of a healthy mind and can take you away from the harsh realties or lack luster day into a world of fantasy or science and history or high crimes and misdemeanors.  Successful people read with regularity.  

I just purchased a 4 book series by Ernest Hemingway.  The experience of reading them today is quite different than having to read them in school. There are several offerings of books; audio, paperback and  hard back or Kindle.  The ease of listening to a topic or story while driving is becoming quite popular.  Even learning a new language has been simplified.  

Whatever your interests, whatever your age - start reading today and transform your life - you will be glad you did.  And if you already are an avid reader, begin your own neighborhood book club.  Build a post with a box on top with sliding plexi-glass doors to stave off the weather or small critters and display multiple books to share and trade. 

 WRITING LISTS

Several years ago, I was in a small group of individuals: three men and myself.  It was formed because one of the men and I had Friday morning coffee and donuts together.  We struggled with a concept: the phone both dictated and interrupted the course of our day.  We both agreed we were out of control every day and did not accomplish what was originally planned.  He suggested we engage a few other local entrepreneurs/business people in the community.  We started meeting for breakfast.  One of the men dropped out.  We met twice a month at 7 AM- no matter the weather.  Our spouses could not appreciate the importance of these meetings.  We certainly did.  You learn a lot about people when you meet twice a month for 7 years.   Our focus and core thread was our desire to make good choices, follow through with customers, build a stronger business following, and learn new ideas.  We also shared many similar traits. We shared business practices, challenges, selected books to read and review, and a few personal characteristics. We were willing to reach out to the community and sometimes work together to bring the community together for meetings and special events and fund raisers.  

Our tasks, meetings, and ideas could not have been accomplished without having lists.  One of the men kept a small notepad and pen in his pocket.  He wrote the items he wanted to accomplish each day for his store and crossed them off his list as he completed them.  He made sure he finished his list by the close of business.  The other man created his list on Sunday evening for the work week.  His list included his clients, meetings, calls to be made and he was strict about ending his day at 4:30 pm.  I developed my list on a lined sheet or note pad each day.  I highlighted my accomplishments - they were easy to read at a glance.  I also used an agenda-a weekly planner each year-and kept record of all my appointments and meetings.  I used sticky notes in my home.  I placed them on my bathroom mirror and on my kitchen cabinet so I was exposed to my primary annual target.  My note:  'Why 90?' - very simple.  It meant the minimum magic number for annual sales I strived toward.

Outlook is another method of creating lists.  I usually prefer my written lists.  I have been successful with them and generally practice using the 'sun down' rule of getting everything done by the end of the day.  I struggle with this one due to the nature of my business which can be 24/7.  I will strive for more efficiency and know much of my continued success throughout many years has been the result of my handwritten lists.

 STARTING YOUR DAY

I am sure you have heard that little jingle for coffee; '..the best part of waking up...'.  Well, I am here to say how you start your day when you wake up matters.  Before your eyes fully open, before, you are truly conscious of the weather outside, and before you even get out of bed - it is important to get the blood circulating. Stretch your body while laying down.  Turn your feet side to side, up and down several times.  Stretch your calf muscles. Turn your head side-to-side and tilt it back then toward your chest holding it in place for a few seconds - then turn  it to the left, center, and right and repeat several times.  Arch your back; push your shoulders down.  Stretch out.  Now, you can start your day.  The oxygen in your blood is circulating faster through your brain and body.    

I have two fused discs in my neck, had two rear-end collisions resulting in concussions, and had started to feel so sluggish.  I started this regimen a couple of years ago and I do not experience any tingling when I first step out of bed and my day just seems so much better.  Of course there are other things to do before you shower or get ready for your the rest of your day.  For me, it is a bathroom routine including brushing my teeth and hair. Find a good multi vitamin and drink 10 to 16 ounces of water. I almost have to have coffee and on the weekends use about a teaspoon of Bailey's Irish Cream to celebrate.   Next, I read or write or check out some news and once a month - pay my bills to get it behind me.  If you are inclined to exercise, the morning before food is when you are going to get your body in prime shape for the day AND get your metabolism jump started.  

My brother died in November of 2004.  I had already broken up with a significant partner in March.  I lost a lot of weight and just could not eat in the morning.  I felt nauseous of the smell or thought of breakfast.  Over the years, I ending up gaining the weight back and then some.  I put my body in starvation mode and it hung on desperately to all that excess fat.  It wasn't until April of this year when I entered into a workout challenge at a local gym where I discovered so much more about myself and my body.  I lost about 25 percent body fat and about 9 inches.  I lost only 7 or 8 pounds but, built a whole lot of muscle.  My core was stronger; my mind felt more alert, and I discovered the importance of eating breakfast to stop to fat storage issue.  My trainers taught me diet  was 80% of my overweight problem.  

Start your day off right.  Develop a routine which works for you.  Be consistent with your sleep, increase your water intake, and discover both the physical and mental benefits.  

Where Did Your Passion Go?

When I was a young girl, I was very passionate about my girlfriends and spending time with them meant everything to me.  Getting punished for not doing my chores was bad enough but, when my mother added not being able to have them over to my house or vice versus I felt much worse.  My heart ached to be with my friends and ride bikes or roller skate together or just having girl time together watching I Love Lucy.  In later years, my interests turned toward boys and my girlfriends became a close second.  I  was so passionate about both and remain close to those girlfriends today.  The boyfriends drifted away from my life.  After several more 'passionate' relationships, I eventually found myself as a single mom with three children-all by the same father...just for clarity.  I suddenly found out my children did not feel like our rental home was 'home'.  One summer, each of them  individually of one another, expressed these feelings to me.  Actually, I had planned to move to a southern state once they had gotten out of high school. But, I ended up buying a house for them nearby so they could remain in their school through graduation and be with their friends.  It was a modest house with three bedrooms, a basement large enough for my eldest daughter, one and a half bathrooms and a yard big enough for us to have bon fires.  The latter was extremely important to all of us.   Through the years, we spent many nights sitting around bon fires and connecting with family, friends, and neighbors.  I didn't care what the house looked like.  After looking at a half dozen houses on the market, I made a decision.  I was too busy working 10 to 14 hour days to much care; as long as the house met those very basic criteria.  But, when I went to pick out furniture - my old low-lying dark green sofa for the living room and mattress and boxspring on the bedroom floor - just wouldn't work for me anymore.  I realized I had lost my passion.  The rental walls were a flat white paint-I never painted them, the carpet was a nubby berber oatmeal color-neutral, and I had beige sheers at the windows.  My clothes were all shades of brown, black or grey.  As I searched for furniture for our new home, I realized most of the furniture in the show rooms was brown or some monochromatic shade thereof.  I wanted a red sofa.  I needed passion in my home.   I had been living without passion for far too long.  I was passionate about my children and passionate about my work but, when it came to my home I was  not.  Home is where the heart is.  Home is the reflection of your life, your soul, and a visible expression of what you love and care about.  Not only did I find a beautiful burgundy red sofa but, an oversized chair, and chaise lounge too.  All very unique pieces of furniture and the fabric wore like iron.  And, I took my passion to the bedroom and bought a queen sized sleigh bed.   Life took a turn for not only the better but, seemed to have more meaning and I felt a huge sense of accomplishment.  I began saving more and investing more.  For whatever reason, and there were many events over the years causing me to change from the person I once was, I finally found it - I got my passion back. 

THINK IT THROUGH, BABY

I am sure you have had that lightening bolt sensation of an idea or situation, cupid's arrow shooting through the heart, or thought 'if only I knew now what I knew then'.  Sometimes, when we realize we made an error in our judgment, a process we failed to follow - maybe because we were in a rush, or just failed to think things through appropriately for a task - it can cause a continuous mental replay of events. It can also cause both conflict in business relationships and an impact of production. 

I have been working in my present occupation for over 20 years and have become rather skilled in the processes and ongoing changes and information associated with my occupation.  Each month, week, and day I prepare ahead of time by using my agenda to review appointments, reports, and meetings.  I may need reference materials, business cards, flyers, or pens and pads and make sure they are available.  If not, I order or collect them so I am prepared in advance to do my business in an effective and efficient manner.  A great deal of what I do resides in the grey matter in my cerebral cortex.  I don't have a manual or a reference guide for all the details and acquired knowledge.  I know where to find the resources or the contacts for information when needed.  I compile a mental 'to do' list and follow through until the job is completed.  There are times when I complete a task and I rush it through to get it done to start the next task or failed to review a recent bulletin regarding a particular subject matter.   Aaaahhh; this is when I realize at 3 am or over the weekend or while driving in traffic I made an egregious error.  I messed up.  I play the thoughts over and over in my head trying to remember all the steps I made and how or where I made the mistake.  I retrace my steps repeatedly. The constant thoughts increase my anxiety level and I cannot think of anything else.  I become consumed by the situation and have even gotten out of bed at 3 am to re-work it or send an email update only to lie awake and return to a fitful sleep.  I have learned to use certain skills to stop or lessen these errors.  I try to change my routine and follow ups and review and have learned to slow down when I get that desire to rush something through just to get it over with.  I have certainly improved - a lot! 

 As an example of thinking things through when I bake my 'world famous' rolls or cheesecake I take out my recipe and keep it in a well lit area so it can be viewed as needed while making the recipe. I clear a space to work in as well as a space for the end product.  I have a  basket lined with white napkins for the rolls or a cooling rack for the cheesecake .  Next, I get out all the ingredients, pans, utensils, and turn on my oven.  AND, I have a cup of my favorite coffee, water, or beverage nearby. I am well prepared to produce a great product - a positive result. Write it down if you have to.  Put up a sticky note on your computer. Focus on proficiency.  Learn and teach yourself how to master your task. Think it through, baby!

 Goofy Never Gets Better

I have had the privilege of working in a fabulous profession for over twenty years.  It has allowed me to work in a field bringing together my primary interests, passions, and skills.  It has also provided income to raise three children and invest in my future. I have been blessed to meet so many people and their relatives in my county and their families.  The families referred their friends to me and it has been such a joy to work together with them through their financial endeavors, saving money, or building a new home.  The challenges of the day-to-day processes behind the meetings usually meant working long hours and high stress to meet unlimited goals, industry changes, and timelines. It also meant countless internal and industry meetings and continuing education.  Engaging in local community events, sponsoring community activities such as: serving on boards or committees for the town I live in, the Department of Social Services, the local real estate board, and forming my own women's networking group. They were not only a time investment but, an opportunity to get to know so many people.  I  consider myself quite accepting of others and rather tolerant of many human behaviors and have acquired patience and humility.  My primary job has not been a '9 to 5' position and required working many evenings and weekends.  The sacrifice of family for work and for an income required changing the thought processes and finding balance although that wasn't necessarily achieved at all times but, I certainly did my best.  With time, I began to draw a few deductions about some quirky aspects of human behaviors.  Behaviors such as: why people run late or miss appointments, or how desperate some people are and need to talk with someone, or how people make empty promises or procrastinate about commitments.  There was also a rather interesting trait I found to be true about a transaction or an individual.  When something started off kilter it just never seemed to right itself.  MEANING, if documentation I needed was delayed or information I needed was wrong, or the persons attitude was mean or demeaning or rude toward me, it remained that way throughout the transaction.  Sometimes, it continued even after my job was done. And, those people would be sure to remind you of the issue every time you met or spoke with them.  They couldn't let it pass.  They wouldn't give it up.  I coined this as 'goofy never gets better.'  I could tell from the earliest infraction I was looking at a rough road ahead.  I knew I was going to need to be extra vigilant and firm and would need to work longer hours because of these issues.  I also knew I had to change my mindset and prepare as much as possible to have communication with these people and practiced on my delivery.  It wasn't always easy.  I learned fewer words were better than lengthy conversations which, made me feel awkward and may have either fell on deaf ears or incited anger and frustration from my clients.  I also learned the delivery of bad news should be as swift as good news.  Delaying bad news had a lingering impact on me and my mental well-being.  Some things in life of a derogatory nature can have long-term debilitating affects.  Recognize the problem.  Understand the situation.  Determine the path.  Execute.  And sometimes you just have to realize:  GOOFY NEVER GETS BETTER!

 Self Building

I am not referencing the construction of a home.  I am referring to the individual - y-o-u!  First, to understand my topic of discussion I cannot continue without noting the depression rates in our country are soaring.  According to the CDC (my go-to whenever I want factual data - and yes, I still trust them), reported on March 26, 2021 our nations mental health problems.  The rate of symptoms of anxiety or a depressive disorder increased from 36.4% to 41.5%.  Now, what is notable is the younger adults ages 18-29 was the largest.  These are facts.  The continuation of  this problem will have significant impact on our societies future well being.  We have become a 'soft' society filled with emotion-too much emotion I might add.  God put us on this earth to procreate and work.  As a nation, we stopped working. By this I mean we focus on quick results, have lost our patience, our ability to hold an intelligent discussion, and our work ethic.  We want others to do for us and relinquish our responsibilities and found ways to obtain drugs, legally or not, or to let alcohol become our best friend.  Working on building 'self' requires effort.  Probably, less effort than what you are currently doing on a daily basis.   Just like viewing a checking account or credit card statement, at the end of each day for 30 days write down how much time you spend during the day doing things such as:  reading, physical activity, social media, laboring your mind with unnecessary emotional stress about things you cannot control, watching television, visiting with friends/family/neighbors, working, hobbies, or even shopping.  At the end of the 30 days, take a look at what you do. If 30 days is too much of a commitment, try just 7 days or even 1 day!  I found I spent $1,200 a month at a retail store during the time my family was growing.  I was aghast.  What a waste of my hard-earned money.  I looked at what I was spending and realized almost 50% of the expenses were rather frivolous and not a 'need'.  Start building your 'self'.  Make some changes in your routine.  Cut back on things that make you feel bad about 'self' and add in others that make you feel good.  For instance:  if I allow my mind and conversation to constantly complain about my spouse that action will ultimately have a huge negative impact on my relationship and psyche.  If I talk about my spouse in a kind and loving way, hug him, and brain slap myself every time those negative  thoughts enter my gray matter I feel better about him and myself.   Remember:  you are building.  Building takes time.  Periodically, you may even need to renovate what you have built.  No worries here-we actually adapt to change over time.

 NOVEMBER LEAVES    

Each year, I make goals for the upcoming year as the cooler temperatures of November settle in on Carroll County, Maryland at our home on Mt Olympus.  The plans are generally business related but, they also include a personal goal or two since my drive to do business is precipitated by the desire and passion I have to make these accomplishments come to fruition.  I've done my research to see the monetary gains of the year, production numbers, and the payments toward debts. I take a closer look at the production numbers and what they represent as I compare them to the previous year.   The numbers were down; the income was up.  I analyzed the information to determine why this occurred and take notes.   I met my goal set in 2020; much as I had met my goal in 2019.  For business that is.  What is truly noticeable is I had the same personal goal since 2012.  Actually, 2 personal goals.  One to finish and publish my book I started in 2009 (I have completed it 3 times) and  the second; to loose weight.  Well, I still have to both finish and publish the book.  I have come to the realization other great sellers took the authors years before the book was finally in print.  The time will come when I go public with it.  Although, I have some people around me that find this quite frustrating.  The second goal:  I took on a fitness challenge in the spring at a local gym. Now, this was a major decision for me.  I have been to many gyms in my life time.  This cost me $600 for 6 weeks.  The challenge: to loose 25 pounds or 10% body fat.  I was a slow looser...I managed to lose 7 pounds but, also lost 7 inches!  The instructors were amazed at the muscle I was building.  For some reason, my body fat loss did not register correctly on the BMI calculator.  Therefore, I officially lost the challenge and was upset for weeks.  How could this be?  People noticed.  I felt healthier.  I drink more water now  and learned to eat better as a result of the great instructors I had.  I fit so much better in my clothes.  Since April, I have lost 13 pounds.  I have worn a size 10 and medium for years albeit rather tight fitting.  Now, I am wearing a 10 comfortably and purchased some size 8 and small sizes now hanging in my closet.  I have almost completely lost my muffin top and wear a two piece bathing suit with confidence!  The challenge had to have been the most difficult personal task I have undertaken.  It felt akin to Marine Corps boot camp and I wanted to quit...several times but, I persevered.  It was painful and yet self gratifying.  I looked forward to visiting the gym three times a week.  I stopped my business to make it on time for the classes and weigh in each Saturday morning at 9 am.  This was a major feat in itself!  As the days in November have begun passing, I watch the leaves falling to the ground through the large glass windows and doors of our newly built addition to our home.  The addition had been a 'want' since 2010 when the old room was taken down after a rather big snow storm.  November leaves; how beautiful!

 Monitor Your Accomplishments-Scheduling

My last post was about accomplishments and accountability.  The first step, is to recognize what it is you want to achieve.  Each person has their own set of dreams, desires, and goals.  Most of us have very basic needs and wants but, those that excel generally put together a plan.  Planning comes in several different forms and covers a period of time.  I use a personal kitchen calendar, my agenda, Outlook to schedule upcoming events and, my phone alarm.  The kitchen calendar serves as a daily visual for the current week or month.  Information on this calendar is generally personal in nature.  My agenda is in a pre-printed book (purchased at the end of each year for the upcoming year) has my daily business activities with specific times for appointments and reminders as well as meetings and includes some personal appointments and reminders. I review it each Monday morning to view the upcoming week and the start of each day.  I enter appointments in red ink and items to accomplish at the top and bottom of the day in blue ink.   I use a yellow highlighter to cross off each item completed.  It's a great visual to quickly see what items need to be completed or rescheduled.   It also helps me monitor how much time I spend working. Take note:  this is how you can truly monitor your work/life balance.  Your paycheck and your family will also have some input to this.  For instance; what does your optimum work week look like?  How many hours does it take to make the money you want?  Are you spending too much time working and not enough family time?   My Outlook generally has business appointments and reminders.  Alas, my phone.  I have a 1:30 pm alarm from Monday through Friday in my phone.  This is probably one of the most important of all.  This is my 'nudge' to stop focusing on all the business activities and take time for myself.  This is the time I take 15 to 30 minutes to invest in myself; sit in the sun, read a few pages in a book, work out in my gym aka 'the purple room.'  This time is special and serves to recharge my battery if you will.  It's an investment in me.  

 The Time is Right Now

Don't put off another day for happiness, finances, and health.  Take 30 minutes to an hour to dedicate to one or all of these.  Look at your surroundings.  Do they make you happy?  If not, what can you do to change them?  Schedule time to paint a room or clean out a cluttered closet.  Just the smell of fresh paint makes you feel good again.  A cluttered space, car, or office space is indicative of a cluttered mind.  Clean it up!  Open your bank account and review your balance.  Do you want to save more money?  Start your budget today and include your housing expenses, food, gas, insurance, etc.  Be realistic and include savings.  This is usually overlooked in a budget.  Do not spend all of your money down to the last nickel.  At the end of the month, if you have any money left in your bank account, shift the amount into your savings keeping a small cushion in your checking account.  Are you carrying too much credit card debt?  Pay your bills once a month to get on a routine schedule. Pay your high interest rate debts first.  Once that is paid, take the monthly payment and apply it to the next highest interest debt and so on.  Do not pay just the monthly billed amount.  You will never pay off your debt that way.  Look at yourself in the mirror and ask this question-do you like what you see?  Chances are you would like to change something about how you look or feel.  Your perception may be over critical.  Be kind to yourself.  If it is weight, start walking a couple of times a week or cut out or even reduce the amount of sweets you eat or eliminate eating after dinner.  Changing your diet - not dieting using so many of those fad or costly diets - by eating more protein and vegetables will move you in the right direction.  Buy a set of kettle bells and a medicine ball.  I bet you never thought of them or even heard of them! Use them a couple of times a week.  There are exercise programs you can follow on your Smart TV.  A little goes a long way to increase your heart rate and metabolism.  Be accountable for your actions.  Schedule a monthly or quarterly review for yourself and note your progress.  

Sunshine on a rainy day

 I look out the large windows around me of our newly renovated addition to our home-the great room-and see lots of greenery.  The gray sky is the back drop to such lush foliage.  The scene is a reflection of my life right now.  So much beauty and yet that gray is holding me back...keeping me from pursuing my future.  I want to take hold of my life.  I want to embrace what I know will bring me a level of satisfaction I have not yet known.   Today,  is the beginning of the rest of my life.  Today, I start thinking of me.  What I want and who I am.