Where Did Your Passion Go?

When I was a young girl, I was very passionate about my girlfriends and spending time with them meant everything to me.  Getting punished for not doing my chores was bad enough but, when my mother added not being able to have them over to my house or vice versus I felt much worse.  My heart ached to be with my friends and ride bikes or roller skate together or just having girl time together watching I Love Lucy.  In later years, my interests turned toward boys and my girlfriends became a close second.  I  was so passionate about both and remain close to those girlfriends today.  The boyfriends drifted away from my life.  After several more 'passionate' relationships, I eventually found myself as a single mom with three children-all by the same father...just for clarity.  I suddenly found out my children did not feel like our rental home was 'home'.  One summer, each of them  individually of one another, expressed these feelings to me.  Actually, I had planned to move to a southern state once they had gotten out of high school. But, I ended up buying a house for them nearby so they could remain in their school through graduation and be with their friends.  It was a modest house with three bedrooms, a basement large enough for my eldest daughter, one and a half bathrooms and a yard big enough for us to have bon fires.  The latter was extremely important to all of us.   Through the years, we spent many nights sitting around bon fires and connecting with family, friends, and neighbors.  I didn't care what the house looked like.  After looking at a half dozen houses on the market, I made a decision.  I was too busy working 10 to 14 hour days to much care; as long as the house met those very basic criteria.  But, when I went to pick out furniture - my old low-lying dark green sofa for the living room and mattress and boxspring on the bedroom floor - just wouldn't work for me anymore.  I realized I had lost my passion.  The rental walls were a flat white paint-I never painted them, the carpet was a nubby berber oatmeal color-neutral, and I had beige sheers at the windows.  My clothes were all shades of brown, black or grey.  As I searched for furniture for our new home, I realized most of the furniture in the show rooms was brown or some monochromatic shade thereof.  I wanted a red sofa.  I needed passion in my home.   I had been living without passion for far too long.  I was passionate about my children and passionate about my work but, when it came to my home I was  not.  Home is where the heart is.  Home is the reflection of your life, your soul, and a visible expression of what you love and care about.  Not only did I find a beautiful burgundy red sofa but, an oversized chair, and chaise lounge too.  All very unique pieces of furniture and the fabric wore like iron.  And, I took my passion to the bedroom and bought a queen sized sleigh bed.   Life took a turn for not only the better but, seemed to have more meaning and I felt a huge sense of accomplishment.  I began saving more and investing more.  For whatever reason, and there were many events over the years causing me to change from the person I once was, I finally found it - I got my passion back.