Self Building

I am not referencing the construction of a home.  I am referring to the individual - y-o-u!  First, to understand my topic of discussion I cannot continue without noting the depression rates in our country are soaring.  According to the CDC (my go-to whenever I want factual data - and yes, I still trust them), reported on March 26, 2021 our nations mental health problems.  The rate of symptoms of anxiety or a depressive disorder increased from 36.4% to 41.5%.  Now, what is notable is the younger adults ages 18-29 was the largest.  These are facts.  The continuation of  this problem will have significant impact on our societies future well being.  We have become a 'soft' society filled with emotion-too much emotion I might add.  God put us on this earth to procreate and work.  As a nation, we stopped working. By this I mean we focus on quick results, have lost our patience, our ability to hold an intelligent discussion, and our work ethic.  We want others to do for us and relinquish our responsibilities and found ways to obtain drugs, legally or not, or to let alcohol become our best friend.  Working on building 'self' requires effort.  Probably, less effort than what you are currently doing on a daily basis.   Just like viewing a checking account or credit card statement, at the end of each day for 30 days write down how much time you spend during the day doing things such as:  reading, physical activity, social media, laboring your mind with unnecessary emotional stress about things you cannot control, watching television, visiting with friends/family/neighbors, working, hobbies, or even shopping.  At the end of the 30 days, take a look at what you do. If 30 days is too much of a commitment, try just 7 days or even 1 day!  I found I spent $1,200 a month at a retail store during the time my family was growing.  I was aghast.  What a waste of my hard-earned money.  I looked at what I was spending and realized almost 50% of the expenses were rather frivolous and not a 'need'.  Start building your 'self'.  Make some changes in your routine.  Cut back on things that make you feel bad about 'self' and add in others that make you feel good.  For instance:  if I allow my mind and conversation to constantly complain about my spouse that action will ultimately have a huge negative impact on my relationship and psyche.  If I talk about my spouse in a kind and loving way, hug him, and brain slap myself every time those negative  thoughts enter my gray matter I feel better about him and myself.   Remember:  you are building.  Building takes time.  Periodically, you may even need to renovate what you have built.  No worries here-we actually adapt to change over time.

 NOVEMBER LEAVES    

Each year, I make goals for the upcoming year as the cooler temperatures of November settle in on Carroll County, Maryland at our home on Mt Olympus.  The plans are generally business related but, they also include a personal goal or two since my drive to do business is precipitated by the desire and passion I have to make these accomplishments come to fruition.  I've done my research to see the monetary gains of the year, production numbers, and the payments toward debts. I take a closer look at the production numbers and what they represent as I compare them to the previous year.   The numbers were down; the income was up.  I analyzed the information to determine why this occurred and take notes.   I met my goal set in 2020; much as I had met my goal in 2019.  For business that is.  What is truly noticeable is I had the same personal goal since 2012.  Actually, 2 personal goals.  One to finish and publish my book I started in 2009 (I have completed it 3 times) and  the second; to loose weight.  Well, I still have to both finish and publish the book.  I have come to the realization other great sellers took the authors years before the book was finally in print.  The time will come when I go public with it.  Although, I have some people around me that find this quite frustrating.  The second goal:  I took on a fitness challenge in the spring at a local gym. Now, this was a major decision for me.  I have been to many gyms in my life time.  This cost me $600 for 6 weeks.  The challenge: to loose 25 pounds or 10% body fat.  I was a slow looser...I managed to lose 7 pounds but, also lost 7 inches!  The instructors were amazed at the muscle I was building.  For some reason, my body fat loss did not register correctly on the BMI calculator.  Therefore, I officially lost the challenge and was upset for weeks.  How could this be?  People noticed.  I felt healthier.  I drink more water now  and learned to eat better as a result of the great instructors I had.  I fit so much better in my clothes.  Since April, I have lost 13 pounds.  I have worn a size 10 and medium for years albeit rather tight fitting.  Now, I am wearing a 10 comfortably and purchased some size 8 and small sizes now hanging in my closet.  I have almost completely lost my muffin top and wear a two piece bathing suit with confidence!  The challenge had to have been the most difficult personal task I have undertaken.  It felt akin to Marine Corps boot camp and I wanted to quit...several times but, I persevered.  It was painful and yet self gratifying.  I looked forward to visiting the gym three times a week.  I stopped my business to make it on time for the classes and weigh in each Saturday morning at 9 am.  This was a major feat in itself!  As the days in November have begun passing, I watch the leaves falling to the ground through the large glass windows and doors of our newly built addition to our home.  The addition had been a 'want' since 2010 when the old room was taken down after a rather big snow storm.  November leaves; how beautiful!

 Monitor Your Accomplishments-Scheduling

My last post was about accomplishments and accountability.  The first step, is to recognize what it is you want to achieve.  Each person has their own set of dreams, desires, and goals.  Most of us have very basic needs and wants but, those that excel generally put together a plan.  Planning comes in several different forms and covers a period of time.  I use a personal kitchen calendar, my agenda, Outlook to schedule upcoming events and, my phone alarm.  The kitchen calendar serves as a daily visual for the current week or month.  Information on this calendar is generally personal in nature.  My agenda is in a pre-printed book (purchased at the end of each year for the upcoming year) has my daily business activities with specific times for appointments and reminders as well as meetings and includes some personal appointments and reminders. I review it each Monday morning to view the upcoming week and the start of each day.  I enter appointments in red ink and items to accomplish at the top and bottom of the day in blue ink.   I use a yellow highlighter to cross off each item completed.  It's a great visual to quickly see what items need to be completed or rescheduled.   It also helps me monitor how much time I spend working. Take note:  this is how you can truly monitor your work/life balance.  Your paycheck and your family will also have some input to this.  For instance; what does your optimum work week look like?  How many hours does it take to make the money you want?  Are you spending too much time working and not enough family time?   My Outlook generally has business appointments and reminders.  Alas, my phone.  I have a 1:30 pm alarm from Monday through Friday in my phone.  This is probably one of the most important of all.  This is my 'nudge' to stop focusing on all the business activities and take time for myself.  This is the time I take 15 to 30 minutes to invest in myself; sit in the sun, read a few pages in a book, work out in my gym aka 'the purple room.'  This time is special and serves to recharge my battery if you will.  It's an investment in me.  

 The Time is Right Now

Don't put off another day for happiness, finances, and health.  Take 30 minutes to an hour to dedicate to one or all of these.  Look at your surroundings.  Do they make you happy?  If not, what can you do to change them?  Schedule time to paint a room or clean out a cluttered closet.  Just the smell of fresh paint makes you feel good again.  A cluttered space, car, or office space is indicative of a cluttered mind.  Clean it up!  Open your bank account and review your balance.  Do you want to save more money?  Start your budget today and include your housing expenses, food, gas, insurance, etc.  Be realistic and include savings.  This is usually overlooked in a budget.  Do not spend all of your money down to the last nickel.  At the end of the month, if you have any money left in your bank account, shift the amount into your savings keeping a small cushion in your checking account.  Are you carrying too much credit card debt?  Pay your bills once a month to get on a routine schedule. Pay your high interest rate debts first.  Once that is paid, take the monthly payment and apply it to the next highest interest debt and so on.  Do not pay just the monthly billed amount.  You will never pay off your debt that way.  Look at yourself in the mirror and ask this question-do you like what you see?  Chances are you would like to change something about how you look or feel.  Your perception may be over critical.  Be kind to yourself.  If it is weight, start walking a couple of times a week or cut out or even reduce the amount of sweets you eat or eliminate eating after dinner.  Changing your diet - not dieting using so many of those fad or costly diets - by eating more protein and vegetables will move you in the right direction.  Buy a set of kettle bells and a medicine ball.  I bet you never thought of them or even heard of them! Use them a couple of times a week.  There are exercise programs you can follow on your Smart TV.  A little goes a long way to increase your heart rate and metabolism.  Be accountable for your actions.  Schedule a monthly or quarterly review for yourself and note your progress.  

Sunshine on a rainy day

 I look out the large windows around me of our newly renovated addition to our home-the great room-and see lots of greenery.  The gray sky is the back drop to such lush foliage.  The scene is a reflection of my life right now.  So much beauty and yet that gray is holding me back...keeping me from pursuing my future.  I want to take hold of my life.  I want to embrace what I know will bring me a level of satisfaction I have not yet known.   Today,  is the beginning of the rest of my life.  Today, I start thinking of me.  What I want and who I am. 

Double Speak

Do you get confused by the message(s) you receive from your loved ones, friends, or your boss? From my perspective, communication has certainly become quite challenging.  The rapid requests and responses via technology pile up and become quite cumbersome.  There are times I feel on top of everything in my life.  Things may not be completed but, I am certainly aware of their status.  Then, I get a call or another message or a quizzical facial expression.  It seems we have succumbed to some sort of 'double speak'.  We think we are communicating what seems to be clear and concise information.  It's in writing, text, or highlighted on a piece of paper.  And then it happens.  You receive a call and someone is angry or upset with you.  You shake your head in disbelief as a myriad of past events pertaining to the subject matter flood your gray matter.  Perhaps, we need more dialogue and less technology to avoid conflict and get the job done right!

Does it make you feel bad?

Feelings.    Sometimes, it is best to make decisions by withdrawing emotion.  Perhaps, your counselor or coach may have recommended this to you before.  It's the day of your meeting with your manager and you still  have not put fingers to keyboard to enter the information for that report.  Oh, you have done your research.  You know the drill and you have gathered some information.  But, you just don't feel like it.  Besides, you don't even have time for the things you want to do like personalize and sending Christmas cards or those postcards to your past clients.  And then it happens to you and you feel bad.  You've done it before and you know you can do it again.  Now - withdraw the emotion - toss the conflicting thoughts to the side - and just get it done.