CHALLENGING PERSONALITIES

 I grew up in a family with one member having a very strong personality.  He was not necessarily of the good sort.  He was the second son of six siblings.   Not very bright and had a serious jealousy streak of the siblings following him.  There were times I thought he was of criminal mind growing up.  He lied a lot.  He took every opportunity to take things from people.  No one else in the family was like this.  And, he had a mean streak that took you by surprise without a moments notice. He was my mentor of a challenging personality.  But, one thing he also taught me was bad people can have redeeming traits as well.  He would always be the one to get flowers for our mother on those special occasions.  She melted with his toothy grin, his smile showing the slight space between his two upper teeth, and forgave him for all things bad.  Christmas time was his most favorite time to buy her the most expensive gift and beautiful card.  I would meet his many life lessons through time.  

In my late twenties, I owned a retail business with multiple locations and was quite strict with the employees on their time to report for their schedule.  They had a heavy work schedule of six days a week from 10 or 11 in the morning to 9 or 10 in the evening.  They were also paid rather well and a high school education and honesty were the two major skills needed to be hired.  One young man spoke to me after being a bit harsh on him.  He was in his early twenties and was getting married soon.  He said, 'you will get more bees with honey than vinegar.'  I did not take his comment lightly.  My retail career lasted about seven years.  It collapsed due to a recession-I had grown to big too fast-I never looked back.

Most of my life has been working with the public and with multiple other employees.  I realized very young how difficult others could be as well as how difficult I could be.  I learned there are methods and useful tactics to compromise.  I wasn't taught that in my family growing up.  In the real world of working, there have been memorable managers.  I found the female managers the most difficult to work with.  I prefer a male in command.  They don't possess the estrogen laden decisions.  Don't get me wrong, two of my women managers I highly respected.  And, one of my male managers was an ignoramus at best.  He was a flip-flopper.   He said one thing-and did quite another.

Working with challenging personalities has become commonplace.  Most people leave their jobs-not because of their pay-but, because of their supervisor.  The workplace should not be a battle ground of wins and losses but, a mutually respected environment of problem solvers and producers.  For help, reach out to co-workers (not complainers) or a trusted mentor.  Reading literature on effective ways of communication and goal setting can be extremely rewarding.  Becoming consistent and practicing skills will help create positive outcomes for your future and the building blocks of a strong focus in your career.  Your family and loved ones will welcome the change!