REDIFINING 'NORMAL'

 For many a year, I have stumbled over this word.  Thought about what it means and wrestled with the concept that anything could actually be normal.  I even looked up Webster's:  the usual, average, typical state, or condition.  Now, depending where one is or what one has experienced 'normal' can vary  dramatically.  Is it normal to be in a business where people slam their doors after a conflict?  Is it normal to be 'fashionably late' for a business meeting?  Is it normal to make a MAJOR blunder or error and still keep your job?  Seems to me these types of behaviors have become our new 'normal' and observable on a daily basis.  You can basically say or do anything and there is some managerial and administrative trepidation about firing or writing an individual up.  The fear of some backlash against them for their decision.  

I watch the news.  Not every day as I used to because I cannot get over how much opinion there is about everything versus factual data.  And, how opinion and emotion tend to rule over logic and fact.  Pictures are altered, snippets of a conversation are used as opposed to the actual content, videos will run for weeks with a narrative that fits someone's agenda.  Sometimes, that agenda can cause serious damage to an individual, a company, a community, finances, etc. with little regard for the outcome.  Once the damage is done, there appears to be little to undo the damage.  A life may be ruined as a result.  Is this now our 'normal'?

Some years ago, I was speaking with my long-time best friend and happened to comment I finally felt normal.  She is a beautiful woman and I have known her since I was 10 years old.  I respect her, her friendship, and her opinions.  They are based on fact.  They are based on true friendship which has existed for over 5 decades.  She looked at me, paused, and gently said, "Barbara, you have never lived a normal life".  At first, I felt hurt.  I knew there was no malice in her voice as we sat face-to-face.  It took me a minute to recover.  The words were embedded in my cerebral gray matter and I would think about our conversation for many years thereafter.  She came from a multi-generational family of solid marriage.  Good parents and grandparents.  My family had the 'Stockman Curse' as my cousin Ann claims.  D-I-V-O-R-C-E.  The curse from my grandmother's side of the family.

Through the years, I have struggled with normal.  I have re-defined normal to add:  subject to the experiences, lifestyles, and demographics or geographics one has lived.  I think this is a more appropriate definition.  It fits.  I share it occasionally with others as they wrestle with what is normal in their life and how they struggle to feel and act normal as they find balance as opposed to fighting with their inner self.