REDIFINING 'NORMAL'

 For many a year, I have stumbled over this word.  Thought about what it means and wrestled with the concept that anything could actually be normal.  I even looked up Webster's:  the usual, average, typical state, or condition.  Now, depending where one is or what one has experienced 'normal' can vary  dramatically.  Is it normal to be in a business where people slam their doors after a conflict?  Is it normal to be 'fashionably late' for a business meeting?  Is it normal to make a MAJOR blunder or error and still keep your job?  Seems to me these types of behaviors have become our new 'normal' and observable on a daily basis.  You can basically say or do anything and there is some managerial and administrative trepidation about firing or writing an individual up.  The fear of some backlash against them for their decision.  

I watch the news.  Not every day as I used to because I cannot get over how much opinion there is about everything versus factual data.  And, how opinion and emotion tend to rule over logic and fact.  Pictures are altered, snippets of a conversation are used as opposed to the actual content, videos will run for weeks with a narrative that fits someone's agenda.  Sometimes, that agenda can cause serious damage to an individual, a company, a community, finances, etc. with little regard for the outcome.  Once the damage is done, there appears to be little to undo the damage.  A life may be ruined as a result.  Is this now our 'normal'?

Some years ago, I was speaking with my long-time best friend and happened to comment I finally felt normal.  She is a beautiful woman and I have known her since I was 10 years old.  I respect her, her friendship, and her opinions.  They are based on fact.  They are based on true friendship which has existed for over 5 decades.  She looked at me, paused, and gently said, "Barbara, you have never lived a normal life".  At first, I felt hurt.  I knew there was no malice in her voice as we sat face-to-face.  It took me a minute to recover.  The words were embedded in my cerebral gray matter and I would think about our conversation for many years thereafter.  She came from a multi-generational family of solid marriage.  Good parents and grandparents.  My family had the 'Stockman Curse' as my cousin Ann claims.  D-I-V-O-R-C-E.  The curse from my grandmother's side of the family.

Through the years, I have struggled with normal.  I have re-defined normal to add:  subject to the experiences, lifestyles, and demographics or geographics one has lived.  I think this is a more appropriate definition.  It fits.  I share it occasionally with others as they wrestle with what is normal in their life and how they struggle to feel and act normal as they find balance as opposed to fighting with their inner self.  

CHANGING THE CHANNEL - WHAT CAN I DO?

The headline news screams at you as you nestle in the latter part of your day into your comfy oversized chair or stretch out on the sofa.  You may as well pull your warm, soft and fuzzy blanket over your head so as not to watch the repeated reels before you on your big screen.  Inflation and pessimism abound.  Mortgage interest rates have doubled since January, 2022.  Over the past couple of years, the news was bleak and you let the words seep into your mind and envelope your soul.  You may gasp or speak out loud against the events and tragedy of the day.  Deep inside you know this is not your world.  You realize you are blessed for the many positive people surrounding you and embrace the mutual love of your family and home.  You are cherished.  Layoff announcements continue as we appear to be exiting the long pandemic.

We reflect on how things 'used to be'.  They are no more.  Some of us can rationalize or accept life's circumstances and some of us still live in fear and anxiety.  The reoccurrence of the illness remains worrisome to those with near death experiences or the loss of a loved one.  Pessimism took a strong hold.  People choose to see the worst in their peers...their family...  Some believed the world was coming to an end.  The lingering aftermath from shuttered businesses.  The workforce loosing jobs.  Offices shutting down.  Landlords loss of income as they could not collect rent and pay their mortgages due to Federal Regulators changing guidelines for eviction protection.  We are constantly engaged in flux.  Our minds may fill with the negativity as the words take over and we give in to the dread.  The voice from within may still tell us to stay inside where it is safe.  OR, to decrease your circle of friends and family and limit the exposure to the outside world. 

This is NOT how we were meant to live!  Life is worth living.  Giving of yourself and interacting with people while having dinner together and enjoying the different wine selection over a variety of foods.  Playing sports games or riding a bike or going to the beach.  Walking around the neighborhood.  Fishing along the stream and wading in the cool waters.  Building a sustainable family garden of herbs and fresh foods and flowers.  Learning to play the piano.  Attending weddings and baby showers.  Reading a book and sharing the story in your book club. Going to church and singing out-of-key at the top of your lungs.  This is the essence of life.

So.  What can we do about our lives?  How can we do better and change them to 'the way we were?"  This a question one can ask of self.  I know I have.  Based on the many communications I have had over the past several years there does not appear to be a single solution.  I remember it was April of 2020.  I wanted to spend Mother's Day with the same family members at the same restaurant chain as we did for over a decade.  One family member was traumatized at the thought of being together.  How I would die after being exposed to other people.  I was not afraid.  I know others were afraid or at least cautious of the unknown.  We enjoyed the outdoor temperatures around a fire in the backyard.  A compromise was reached.

The conflicting information made some withdraw from others while some, like me, strove toward finding balance in a safe way.  The evidence is muddy.  The solutions are not of a simple nature.  There are still options.  There is faith and hope.  There is peace and happiness.  There are businesses succeeding and people paying their mortgages.  Another occupation or starting a new business could be the silver lining in the once stormy cloud looming overhead.  The time may be NOW to look at what you are in control of and turning the channel in the mind or on the set to one of more positive and enjoyable outcomes.  This you can do.

WATER

 Water. H2O:  An inorganic molecular compound of 2 parts hydrogen and 1 part oxygen.  It is transparent, tasteless, odorless and is the fluid found in all living organisms.  It can take form as precipitation, ice in it's solid state or snow, and steam or vapor.  It covers about 71% of the earth's surface.  About 1.7% is underground and the same is found on glaciers and ice caps in Antarctica and Greenland.  Also commonly known as agua.  The adult human body is made of approximately 60%  water.

My purpose in providing this information is to bring awareness of the importance of drinking water for the proper functioning of the human body.  The brain, heart, and lungs are predominantly water.  So are the skin, muscles, and kidneys.  Even your skeletal frame is 31% water!  With age, the body's water content decreases to below 50%.  All the more reason to drink during your business day.  Your body requires a consistent intake of water to maintain an optimum level of functionality.  For instance:  a 154 pound male has about 11 gallons of water.  Your health advisor or fitness guru may recommend keeping a gallon jug of this zero calorie drink with you at your desk or on the job and to strive for 124 ounces per day.

 I was working from home in an area of 6 foot by 4 foot; rather depressing and physically limiting.  I had been accustomed to working in a good sized office.  I was more aware of my posture and knew I needed to keep myself hydrated.  The room was stuffy.  On good weather days, I opened the window.  I tried a fitness challenge during COVID: $600, 3 times a week, for 6 weeks.  We weighed in each week and he reviewed my diet and emphasized the importance of water.  I wanted to quit several times.  He was quite friendly and stuck steadfast to his regimen.  He scheduled a succession of drills using different muscles at two minute intervals-consistently changing up the sessions to avoid 'muscle memory'.  He wanted the group to benefit a whole body experience.  I found it quite challenging and told my friends and family it was much like Marine boot camp!  My spouse agreed. He tried it one time and said, "I gotta give you a lot of credit.  I never worked out that hard in my life."  The coach did not give in to my red face dripping with sweat (I hardly EV-ER sweat) nor did he validate my complaints of how he was trying to kill me!  I was worried about drinking the amount of water he recommended.  He wanted my body to perform at it's optimum.

Even though I had heard about the importance of drinking water many times before I listened this time.  The 23 year old coach made an impression.  I was 62.  He was a driver.   I was determined.  He knew I could achieve far more that I did.  He understood the value of not just a good diet, but the primary component in our body.  The large part which contributes to the whole.   It made more sense to me than ever before.  Although I may not intake the amount I should, I certainly am drinking far more than I have had in the past.  It made sense-finally!  Drinking water was the start of a better health regimen.  Changing my posture from bending my shoulders forward while I work and getting up several times during my day make a huge difference in my performance AND I feel better.

THINK IT THROUGH!

 Have you ever had the experience when you made plans to do a project, put everything together, and mid-way discovered you were missing a few parts of the plan?  Perhaps a few tools or the hammer and shovel to work on your mother's deck?  Your laptop or tablet?  When I think about making a cake or preparing a dish, I start out with an idea - easy enough.  If I am smart, I consider the recipe and look into the kitchen stock to see if all ingredients are available.  I check to make sure the utensils are there.  There have been times one of my children have 'borrowed' an item and failed to return it.  Thus, putting a bit of a damper on my planning and caused me to either purchase another item (a time and money waster) or run to their home to fetch the missing item (time).  Although with the cost of gas prices now, cost could also factor into it.  Through the years, I had a bit of experience with preparing food for family, friends, events, or parties and have a fairly good organizational mindset.  

This process also applies to my business side.  When I wake in the morning, two things occur simultaneously but not necessarily in the same order.  I think what day it is and if I have difficulty remembering on those rare occasions, I think back to my last memory of the day before.  Success!  I know it is Friday! Then, a song usually pops into my head.  A jingle, country, one of my piano lessons and I have that tune carry through most of my morning.  There are times I play the song on YouTube and listen to it over-and-over.  It puts me in a good frame of mind.  Then, I start putting my thoughts together - check my calendar as I brew that first cup of java - the mornings ammunition - and fire off the first round of thoughts and plans for the day.  

I do my best to enter the most important tasks and appointments in my agenda-gotta have a bound, physical copy to take with me when needed and keep it in the same location on my desk.  I like my life somewhat organized and know I am prepared to make changes as well.  The one thing I have learned these past several decades is to be sure to think it through.  Know the weather-it could be a variable.  Know your account balance-this could be important.  AND, consider what items you will need to accomplish your day to make it flow as smooth as the Bailey's Irish Cream in your morning coffee!

Think it through!  Your failure to plan properly can cost you time and money as well as a level of disrespect or frustration from your peers and family.  If someone has to ask you more than twice (once the initial request - second a reminder) you need to find other ways to organize yourself.  Personally, I don't like asking people repeatedly for something when we mutually agreed upon something. Maybe an alarm on your phone at a set time of the day with a notation for the task will get you into a routine.   Re-examine the day's task as well as the next couple of days.  Compile a list of parts and tools in mind or on paper if needed to get the job done.  See if there is any wiggle room.  Fill your day with tasks you can accomplish-not stress yourself to the hilt by setting unrealistic expectations and always know...there is another day.  AND, if you forgot to take the agenda you placed next to your bag before you walked out the door with that air of confidence about you?  Make a mental note to do something different next time like placing it IN your bag.  It certainly is unpleasant to feel the nagging sensation of dread.  This will pass in time.  If you or someone else can retrieve it later-fine.  If not-it is not the end of the world.