All of us need help at some point in our lives. Some of us need help more frequently as a result of physical, financial, or medical reasons. I needed help and at one point in my life, I thought suicide was an answer. I was as low as one could be. My mind would not move forward. I kept thinking negative thoughts. I had little adult guidance in my formidable teen years. If there were two choices and one of them was wrong, I chose the wrong one tossing caution to the wind. I managed to survive-death was not what God wanted for me. He knew better. I would later recognize I was rebellious by nature. I needed to do things my way. I found some happiness and became thankful, grateful, and ate a huge serving of humble pie.
God tested me yet another time. I was indigent with 3 children. Lost practically everything I owned including my joy. Luckily, the priest at our church witnessed first-hand what I was enduring and referred me to a shelter assisted and run by volunteers. The stigmatism of being in that type of situation didn't enter my mind. I didn't worry about what others thought. My children and I were living in a safe and secure environment, and I could continue to attend college. I had already started taking a class or two a semester focusing on employment in the medical field.
Volunteers for massage, medical and GYN, tutoring, professional counseling, diet and meal planning, and even financial help was provided. A savings account was set up for each participant with county funds deposited each month we stayed in the program. Clothing was donated from the church's parishioners. I still have and wear a navy-blue velvet coat as a memento. Volunteers provided their time during the day for support. Paid staff monitored and lived at the facility in the late evening to the early morning. The volunteers had so much energy, patience, and devout caring for the women and children in the shelter. It was meant to be a 3-to-5-year process. I was their first candidate for the program in August of 1994. I left in 10 months.
I was selected by the Director of Social Services to serve on the Advisory Board in Carroll County as the first public recipient to hold a position on the board. I was still healing from the many emotional and mental wounds. I was introduced and nurtured by volunteers of the community and accepted as an equal. I became a volunteer; a volunteer to help make decisions-important decisions for the local community.
After receiving my bachelor's degree in biology and becoming employed, I began donating both my time and money back to the community in a variety of ways. I had been clueless about volunteering and witnessed the strength, power, and selflessness of the kind acts of volunteers. I continue to help and support various non-profits. I give unconditionally to others in need of kindness. You see, there is always a story within a person. You may see a successful or strong person but, they have evolved from multiple layers of experiences. Some can overcome the bad ones. Some can take a rebellious behavior of self-destruction and realize the same rebelliousness can do good. Not just for themselves, but for others.
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