THINK IT THROUGH, BABY

I am sure you have had that lightening bolt sensation of an idea or situation, cupid's arrow shooting through the heart, or thought 'if only I knew now what I knew then'.  Sometimes, when we realize we made an error in our judgment, a process we failed to follow - maybe because we were in a rush, or just failed to think things through appropriately for a task - it can cause a continuous mental replay of events. It can also cause both conflict in business relationships and an impact of production. 

I have been working in my present occupation for over 20 years and have become rather skilled in the processes and ongoing changes and information associated with my occupation.  Each month, week, and day I prepare ahead of time by using my agenda to review appointments, reports, and meetings.  I may need reference materials, business cards, flyers, or pens and pads and make sure they are available.  If not, I order or collect them so I am prepared in advance to do my business in an effective and efficient manner.  A great deal of what I do resides in the grey matter in my cerebral cortex.  I don't have a manual or a reference guide for all the details and acquired knowledge.  I know where to find the resources or the contacts for information when needed.  I compile a mental 'to do' list and follow through until the job is completed.  There are times when I complete a task and I rush it through to get it done to start the next task or failed to review a recent bulletin regarding a particular subject matter.   Aaaahhh; this is when I realize at 3 am or over the weekend or while driving in traffic I made an egregious error.  I messed up.  I play the thoughts over and over in my head trying to remember all the steps I made and how or where I made the mistake.  I retrace my steps repeatedly. The constant thoughts increase my anxiety level and I cannot think of anything else.  I become consumed by the situation and have even gotten out of bed at 3 am to re-work it or send an email update only to lie awake and return to a fitful sleep.  I have learned to use certain skills to stop or lessen these errors.  I try to change my routine and follow ups and review and have learned to slow down when I get that desire to rush something through just to get it over with.  I have certainly improved - a lot! 

 As an example of thinking things through when I bake my 'world famous' rolls or cheesecake I take out my recipe and keep it in a well lit area so it can be viewed as needed while making the recipe. I clear a space to work in as well as a space for the end product.  I have a  basket lined with white napkins for the rolls or a cooling rack for the cheesecake .  Next, I get out all the ingredients, pans, utensils, and turn on my oven.  AND, I have a cup of my favorite coffee, water, or beverage nearby. I am well prepared to produce a great product - a positive result. Write it down if you have to.  Put up a sticky note on your computer. Focus on proficiency.  Learn and teach yourself how to master your task. Think it through, baby!

 Goofy Never Gets Better

I have had the privilege of working in a fabulous profession for over twenty years.  It has allowed me to work in a field bringing together my primary interests, passions, and skills.  It has also provided income to raise three children and invest in my future. I have been blessed to meet so many people and their relatives in my county and their families.  The families referred their friends to me and it has been such a joy to work together with them through their financial endeavors, saving money, or building a new home.  The challenges of the day-to-day processes behind the meetings usually meant working long hours and high stress to meet unlimited goals, industry changes, and timelines. It also meant countless internal and industry meetings and continuing education.  Engaging in local community events, sponsoring community activities such as: serving on boards or committees for the town I live in, the Department of Social Services, the local real estate board, and forming my own women's networking group. They were not only a time investment but, an opportunity to get to know so many people.  I  consider myself quite accepting of others and rather tolerant of many human behaviors and have acquired patience and humility.  My primary job has not been a '9 to 5' position and required working many evenings and weekends.  The sacrifice of family for work and for an income required changing the thought processes and finding balance although that wasn't necessarily achieved at all times but, I certainly did my best.  With time, I began to draw a few deductions about some quirky aspects of human behaviors.  Behaviors such as: why people run late or miss appointments, or how desperate some people are and need to talk with someone, or how people make empty promises or procrastinate about commitments.  There was also a rather interesting trait I found to be true about a transaction or an individual.  When something started off kilter it just never seemed to right itself.  MEANING, if documentation I needed was delayed or information I needed was wrong, or the persons attitude was mean or demeaning or rude toward me, it remained that way throughout the transaction.  Sometimes, it continued even after my job was done. And, those people would be sure to remind you of the issue every time you met or spoke with them.  They couldn't let it pass.  They wouldn't give it up.  I coined this as 'goofy never gets better.'  I could tell from the earliest infraction I was looking at a rough road ahead.  I knew I was going to need to be extra vigilant and firm and would need to work longer hours because of these issues.  I also knew I had to change my mindset and prepare as much as possible to have communication with these people and practiced on my delivery.  It wasn't always easy.  I learned fewer words were better than lengthy conversations which, made me feel awkward and may have either fell on deaf ears or incited anger and frustration from my clients.  I also learned the delivery of bad news should be as swift as good news.  Delaying bad news had a lingering impact on me and my mental well-being.  Some things in life of a derogatory nature can have long-term debilitating affects.  Recognize the problem.  Understand the situation.  Determine the path.  Execute.  And sometimes you just have to realize:  GOOFY NEVER GETS BETTER!

 Self Building

I am not referencing the construction of a home.  I am referring to the individual - y-o-u!  First, to understand my topic of discussion I cannot continue without noting the depression rates in our country are soaring.  According to the CDC (my go-to whenever I want factual data - and yes, I still trust them), reported on March 26, 2021 our nations mental health problems.  The rate of symptoms of anxiety or a depressive disorder increased from 36.4% to 41.5%.  Now, what is notable is the younger adults ages 18-29 was the largest.  These are facts.  The continuation of  this problem will have significant impact on our societies future well being.  We have become a 'soft' society filled with emotion-too much emotion I might add.  God put us on this earth to procreate and work.  As a nation, we stopped working. By this I mean we focus on quick results, have lost our patience, our ability to hold an intelligent discussion, and our work ethic.  We want others to do for us and relinquish our responsibilities and found ways to obtain drugs, legally or not, or to let alcohol become our best friend.  Working on building 'self' requires effort.  Probably, less effort than what you are currently doing on a daily basis.   Just like viewing a checking account or credit card statement, at the end of each day for 30 days write down how much time you spend during the day doing things such as:  reading, physical activity, social media, laboring your mind with unnecessary emotional stress about things you cannot control, watching television, visiting with friends/family/neighbors, working, hobbies, or even shopping.  At the end of the 30 days, take a look at what you do. If 30 days is too much of a commitment, try just 7 days or even 1 day!  I found I spent $1,200 a month at a retail store during the time my family was growing.  I was aghast.  What a waste of my hard-earned money.  I looked at what I was spending and realized almost 50% of the expenses were rather frivolous and not a 'need'.  Start building your 'self'.  Make some changes in your routine.  Cut back on things that make you feel bad about 'self' and add in others that make you feel good.  For instance:  if I allow my mind and conversation to constantly complain about my spouse that action will ultimately have a huge negative impact on my relationship and psyche.  If I talk about my spouse in a kind and loving way, hug him, and brain slap myself every time those negative  thoughts enter my gray matter I feel better about him and myself.   Remember:  you are building.  Building takes time.  Periodically, you may even need to renovate what you have built.  No worries here-we actually adapt to change over time.

 NOVEMBER LEAVES    

Each year, I make goals for the upcoming year as the cooler temperatures of November settle in on Carroll County, Maryland at our home on Mt Olympus.  The plans are generally business related but, they also include a personal goal or two since my drive to do business is precipitated by the desire and passion I have to make these accomplishments come to fruition.  I've done my research to see the monetary gains of the year, production numbers, and the payments toward debts. I take a closer look at the production numbers and what they represent as I compare them to the previous year.   The numbers were down; the income was up.  I analyzed the information to determine why this occurred and take notes.   I met my goal set in 2020; much as I had met my goal in 2019.  For business that is.  What is truly noticeable is I had the same personal goal since 2012.  Actually, 2 personal goals.  One to finish and publish my book I started in 2009 (I have completed it 3 times) and  the second; to loose weight.  Well, I still have to both finish and publish the book.  I have come to the realization other great sellers took the authors years before the book was finally in print.  The time will come when I go public with it.  Although, I have some people around me that find this quite frustrating.  The second goal:  I took on a fitness challenge in the spring at a local gym. Now, this was a major decision for me.  I have been to many gyms in my life time.  This cost me $600 for 6 weeks.  The challenge: to loose 25 pounds or 10% body fat.  I was a slow looser...I managed to lose 7 pounds but, also lost 7 inches!  The instructors were amazed at the muscle I was building.  For some reason, my body fat loss did not register correctly on the BMI calculator.  Therefore, I officially lost the challenge and was upset for weeks.  How could this be?  People noticed.  I felt healthier.  I drink more water now  and learned to eat better as a result of the great instructors I had.  I fit so much better in my clothes.  Since April, I have lost 13 pounds.  I have worn a size 10 and medium for years albeit rather tight fitting.  Now, I am wearing a 10 comfortably and purchased some size 8 and small sizes now hanging in my closet.  I have almost completely lost my muffin top and wear a two piece bathing suit with confidence!  The challenge had to have been the most difficult personal task I have undertaken.  It felt akin to Marine Corps boot camp and I wanted to quit...several times but, I persevered.  It was painful and yet self gratifying.  I looked forward to visiting the gym three times a week.  I stopped my business to make it on time for the classes and weigh in each Saturday morning at 9 am.  This was a major feat in itself!  As the days in November have begun passing, I watch the leaves falling to the ground through the large glass windows and doors of our newly built addition to our home.  The addition had been a 'want' since 2010 when the old room was taken down after a rather big snow storm.  November leaves; how beautiful!