We all have to deal with argumentative people. I was recently told I have this issue. Whether I agree with the person who committed me of such a crime isn't actually relevant. Of course, I stated I beg to differ as I did not know of any prior altercations. I also did not press the issue as there was another person present. It was an unfortunate situation. One thing I can say with certainty; some people express what and who they are capable of outwardly toward others. A deflective measure and also known as mirror imaging. They verbalize TO you what THEY are. There are people who will argue a rather obvious fact.
I had been complaining about an issue with a close friend practically every time we spoke. During one of our conversations, my friend changed the subject as I was in mid-stream of my usual rant. At first, I was taken aback and a bit insulted. Later, I reflected on her tactful effort and was glad she did. My tongue was dried up of the complaining.
I recently commented about the sky getting gray and the temperature was beginning to decrease as the wind increased. It was a statement of fact. It was the beginning of a change in weather pattern from warm to cool. All parties sitting on the back patio were experiencing the same change. However, one party spoke up stating 'I don't think so.' There is usually the obvious. Someone is unknowingly argumentative or disagreeable even though other parties can see or feel or know something different.
There are also different degrees of this type of personality trait. When the argumentative personality enters the room or conversation, everyone takes note and some will sit patiently until the moment or event passes as they don't want to appear rude to others if they got up and walked away. The air feels heavy. The mood of the people in the room changes. One can almost feel the tension in the room-touch it...grasp it. The argumentative person wants to engage in spirited discussion to the point of anger and hostility. They don't seem to care whether they are upsetting anyone and usually find a target to hammer their point of view. I wonder if their tongue ever dries up causing serious dehydration.
Some of us became isolated, sheltered during times of shuttering in place, or working from home. We can easily lose our ability to communicate. The communication skills and conversation stimulate our brain and allow us to learn how to be a part of our family, our community, and our workplace. Dialogue, even though it may be strained or restricted to some degree, is crucial to our health and well being.
How does one handle the argumentative person when there is no way to avoid the situation? Ultimately, you have choices. You can diffuse the person by changing the subject as quickly as possible. You can leave the room. You can choose not to attend a gathering if knowing the person will be in attendance or shorten your stay-limiting your exposure. Perhaps, you can ask the person if they wouldn't mind having the discussion on a one-on-one basis at a later time or in another place. And, you can always do your best to ignore them. I find one of the best responses at the onset or within a reasonable point where the conversation is strictly one-sided and is having a negative impact on myself or the attendees is to simply state that the discussion is over and even saying, 'perhaps it is a good idea to change the subject.' Better yet, change the subject at the first opportunity. That is adult-like and certainly non-threatening.
Collectively, we have a wide range of view points and topics for discussion. This is how we learn from one another. This is how we understand how people think and where their thoughts, ideas, and feelings come from. Our lives would become rather mundane if we shut down the dialogue or did not take the time to listen to one another. After experiencing a situation-regardless of what side of the conversation you partake-spend a moment to reflect on how you handled the situation. You are in control of one person - just ONE - yourself.
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