IT TAKES ONE-- LEAD BY ONE

 Recently, I posted 'IT TAKES TWO'.  This writing takes on a very different topic of one-Y O U.  What can I do you ask?  A lot.  Growing up I was constantly told very negative things from my parents. Quite personal in nature.  Rather debilitating.  And, the most uncomplimentary of comments.  The neighborhood adults recited the same thing to keep the neighborhood children in line such as: speak when you are spoken to, children should be seen and not heard, or do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.
I pause here.  Deliberately.  To take on what was going on as I grew up in the Maryland suburbs.  As an adult now, those sayings were felt to be effective and drive home a point and give us limits and reminders of acceptable behaviors.  As a child then, they meant something different to me.  Especially, if I heard them too often.  Sometimes, stating something repeatedly can build a character or generate low self worth.  The tone used in a saying or statement can cause the recipient to feel 'less than'.  I understood the difference between acceptable adult and child conversation.  Like when I went to my grandmom's house and was asked to go outside and play-they wanted to have 'adult conversation.'  
When reaching adulthood, I realized my parents did the best they could.  Truly.  Just like I do the best I can every day.  One day my best may not be my best of another day.  But, it was my best.  My best may not be the best as viewed by another person or vice versus.  A perception based on what is relative and what the experiences are from our past or from the teachings/morays/laws of the community.
As an adult, the option to lead by example rather than speak the same cliches or sayings emerged.  I learned you can show people how to behave.  You can extend a hand of introduction.  You can smile over the phone-the recipient of the conversation or message hears it.  Stand with your body toward an open door or a group of people as opposed to having your back toward others.  Nod or raise your hand toward someone you recognize across the room accompanied by a smile.  Others see what you do.  Others take note and emulate your actions.  Walk your family or guests to the door or to their car when they leave your home.  Hug people.  
Set yourself apart from others.  Your openness, your smile, your actions and your behaviors are what people see.  Mental images process in the brain quickly. Images will remain far longer than the actual words spoken. The brain internalizes these behaviors through imaging.  Another saying: 'a picture is worth a thousand words.' Invented by Fred R Barnard in 1921 for advertising-attributed to an ancient Japanese philosopher.  Believe me you!