THERAPY - DO I NEED IT?

I was working on my Masters in Counseling at the turn of the century. I THOUGHT this would be a good occupation for me.  I had a wide range of experiences.  I did not have the knowledge or the skills to know what I needed to do next.  I had been involved in different types of counseling on a personal level for a variety of reasons.  I found the sessions-whether group or individual-to be helpful.  Mainly, I felt I had an issue or a problem and needed to resolve it.  I felt I did not have the ability to make the accomplishment on my own.  And, I wanted to help others.  Each of us can determine the right path to follow.  Professional counseling is just one form of therapy.

While reading and meeting with the class and instructors, I didn't feel I had any issues at the time.  We were given a task to make a change-one change-in our life for 30 days.  This was a strategy to understand the combination of a time limit and appreciate the process our future clients would have when we would consult with them.  But, I changed my career path.   I chose a completely different occupation.  I could now apply the skills I had learned on both a personal and educational level to help others with real estate and financing.  I emphasize reading here although audible books are a great tool as well.

In my new occupation, there were ongoing learning processes.  Some were on a monthly, semi-annual, or as needed schedule.  I read and listened to a large variety of authors and topics on 'self-help' methods, critical thinking, and goal setting.   Each author or presenter brought something new to me or reinforced what I was doing.  It felt good to listen to great speakers as they shared their experiences and tools for success.  This was much like therapy and education.  It allowed me to delve into my core beliefs and manifest new skills and enhance the ones I possessed.  Some of the concepts I  used but, expressed in different ways or analogies while building a portfolio of clientele. 

I recognized other forms of therapy like massage, meditation, and exercise were important components to a higher level of thinking and removing negativity while reducing stress.  A wholistic approach of mind and body combined.  Therapy is a self-motivated and self-actualized approach with a variety of ways to improve your individual value.  You will gain confidence and knowledge of who you are and what your purpose is.  You will find the ability to interact with others becomes less stressful.  Your ability to lead by example is recognized.  As a support for others you will find;  'when you are okay they will be okay.'

PERSEVERANCE

 The challenges and struggles of daily life are variables each one of us encounter.  Planning and goal setting are two methods to use to evaluate our success over time.  But, it is perseverance to strive for those methods which we rely on to achieve success.  Be aware there are changes occurring on an ongoing bases.  Practices, protocols, employee staffing, and service trends are evolving.  Working from home added a new level of adaptation for some and met with open arms by others.

I took on several major changes this year.  Retirement (YAHOO!), starting a business, and publishing my first book-ARUBA VACATION WITH ARUBA JOE.  Some say I did not retire but, refocused.  Perhaps.  Retirement took months to coordinate with the paperwork and setting up income streams.  The business is a fun and exciting extension of a women's networking group I started in 2012 to be launched in 2023, and the book began in August of 2009 after a family vacation in July to be released in the next couple of weeks.  Perseverance is the key factor in all three of these major accomplishments.  It takes self-control, planning, and coordination.

I pulled my energy, resources, and talents developed over the past several decades to get these projects to this level.  All the while collecting the skills and compounding the rewards of hard work and dedication.  Remaining focused on streamlining processes and finding solutions.  A part of this was keeping records and folders of accomplishments and tasks to better equip myself.

There were many stepping stones culminating in a pathway leading me to this point.  I continue laying stones for my future.  Setting them in place.  Creating a border while knowing there will be twists along the way and the framework may need adjusting periodically.  I forge forward, looking back from time-to-time to enjoy the past and re-learn what I may have temporarily forgotten.  

Nothing is forever.  Times will be difficult.  Time is what we have plenty of.  Failures, poor judgment, rejection, and bad decisions are all part of the learning process.  There are endless opportunities lying ahead.  Stay steadfast on the basics while giving every day your best.

ELEVATOR-FROM THE TOP

 You talk about stress!  Stress overload started for me in my late twenties.  I had migraine headaches, worked 24/8-yes, it felt like I worked 8 days a week.  I would later enter into one of the most stressful occupations:  mortgage lending.  Coping with the periods of high anxiety, long work days, and tending to a house, children, and an education was like balancing china plates on a high wire.  Sometimes, my balance faltered and a plate or two would drop.  There always seemed to be an ample supply of plates to replace or surpass the previous cluster.

This became my comfort spot in life.  Having a lot of plates to juggle.  I needed help to keep my sanity and not allow the stress to compound into unhealthy and problematic issues.  I learned several techniques.  One of those forms of techniques was to visualize my body as an elevator with 10 floors-the 10th floor is the top of my head and the first floor is the soles of my feet.  I divided my body-somewhat like the 7 Chakras from the inner traditions of Hinduism-into 10 levels.  

The 10th floor is the location of the stress and starting point.  This is where the mind is fixated on multiple ideas, concepts, and challenges all bouncing around in tandem with one another.  They create conflict, solve problems, require attention, and organization.  The brain, much like a computer, can run on multiple levels.  While major bodily functions are working without your even thinking about them, other brain skills are at work and used.  Some bodily functions are autonomous like:  regulating breathing, heartrate, blood pressure, digestion, and sexual desire.  You also have the ability to use your mind to change some of them.  And, with practice slow them down to decrease the stress to avoid an overload which, can put you completely out of commission.

Like all forms of exercise, learning, and skills the elevator works best when practiced.  A quiet location is helpful but, not necessary and may not be available.  Use good posture to allow even, unrestricted air flow with back straight and feet placed firmly on the floor, shoulders lowered, and chin at a 90 degree angle from the floor or slightly lowered.  Arms at your side or resting on the arms of your chair.  Eyes are to be closed. Do not cross your legs, ankles, or arms.  Keep your body and mind open.   I suggest taking 10-15 minutes to work through the session.  Consistency is key.  Light music may be helpful but, could cause a distraction.  At each level, acknowledge where you are internally.  Pause for a minute or two before moving downward.  Slowly.  Don't race through it.  Elevator can be done anywhere.

Practice provides faster relief from the stress.  Hydration is important.  By the time I get midway in my process, I can usually feel the difference.  My breathing slows down.   I am more calm.  I no longer have the high level of anger or frustration.  I am aware of my breathing-the fan softly spinning overhead.  There is less white static behind my closed eyelids.  I have even fallen asleep.  That's ok, too! I have also noticed my mind becomes open to other ideas.  The main takeaway:  get in control of your mind and introduce it to your body and create your inner balance.  They make a great team.

SO - YOUR APPOINTMENT CANCELLED

There are so many obstacles and changes in a daily schedule.  Not just changes with you but, with everyone else.  It's not just about your schedule-your time-your day.  When someone cancels an appointment with you-hopefully, they have given you ample notice-you have a few choices to modify your schedule.  When this has happened to me, I had quite a few different responses.  

One response was frustration.  Especially, when I had gone through great strides to accommodate the appointment.  Another, was relief.  There have been times when I had way too many appointments scheduled for the day and too little time planned to do work.  The worst of situations has been when someone didn't reach out to me to let me know they were unable to meet as agreed.  OR, when I have traveled a long distance wasting valuable time.  BUT, what I have also learned-much like other forms of communications with others-the responsibility partly falls on my shoulders.  

This may be a bit difficult to swallow but, I feel my schedule is MY responsibility.  The week before an appointment or the day before is a great time to reach out to confirm the appointment time.  It is also an opportunity to get an update of the event or add/delete an idea-maybe change the agenda.  There may be something you learned in the interim to be able to share some knowledge or information.  Reminder emails or phone calls or texts come in handy-depending on your other parties form of communication and what works best for them.  When scheduling the appointment, ask the other party what form on communication they prefer.  This detail can save you both time and aggravation as well as show the other party you have an interest in them.  This small investment in the beginning of a relationship can pay off as the relationship develops.

When the appointment cancellation is acknowledged, this may also open a new opportunity.  Check the rest of your appointments.  Is there another appointment you can schedule or a phone conversation or introduction you can make?  Take a look at that last appointment of the day to move it up to the time you now have open. OR, is this a gift of time for your advantage: to make a lunch date, sit outside, enjoy the weather and take a walk?  

 The cancellation can open the door for something unplanned-a bit out of your ordinary day.  A cancellation can provide an opportunity to end your day early to spend time with friends, family, or get the car washed.    Perhaps this is your appointment with self you have been overlooking for far too long.  Take advantage of your new found time-embrace it and enjoy it.  You are so deserving!