EMOTION VS FACT

 We have become a society, primarily due to immediate access to news and social media, to form an opinion on many topics such as:  celebrities, politicians, world news, finances, and high profile legal cases.  The media determines the most significant topics to release to the public. News was available at certain hours of the day for viewing or listening or reading.  Local, national, international, and the weather news had designated time slots.     You knew EXACTLY when to tune in.  We were dependent on the source and content.  

WOW!  Has the news changed.   News is now accessible 24/7.  With the tip of a finger we can view, read, or listen to the news.  In addition, information can be vastly different from  one source to another.   Information once labeled as 'confidential' or 'classified' or 'not for public'  are leaked by organizations or individuals.  Military strategies are discussed and presented openly via graphs, description of  tactics, weaponry, and tallies of  the innocent, the injured or the deaths revealed.  Live scenes of violence and mayhem and rioting are displayed.  Most of us have seen the atrocities of war from the comforts of our home.  We have become accustomed and insensitive to horrible acts and crimes.  

We have also viewed sensational natural disasters such as wild fires, hurricanes, mud slides, tsunamis, earthquake, and other extreme conditions in real time.  The multi-media sources bring forth the information with clear pictures and interviews of people at the scene.  Real time-real news.  Realty shows of dysfunctional families and individuals became mainstream viewing.  A cast of talk show hosts discuss a topic-viewers take in their comments-sometimes as fact.

The journalists, talk show hosts, and news men/women provide their insight-their 'spin' of the news.  Opinions and predictions of outcomes-even major political elections and politicians-have become mainstream.  The emotion of the events are discussed and visible.  Our opinions and predictions, depending on the source of information, are made as a result.  It can become all consuming.  After a major State election, I decided to turn off the news for a two-year period.  I was so bothered by the emotional opinions as opposed to lack of factual information AND I did not like the anxiety I felt as a result.  

I decided I had to become more diligent in my research of  a topic I was interested in OR one that appeared incredulous.  I once remembered a psychology professor pointing out:  'even a compulsive liar has some truth in a statement.'  Point well taken.  I decided the importance and my responsibility was to consider the content but, do some research.  Find the facts.  Consider the source.  Make an objective decision and learn.  Emotion may sell viewership and drive curiosity and can even steer the results in life changing decisions.  Facts, once uncovered-you may have to dig rather deep-will provide a more solid foundation in decision making and a possible time saving factor. 

GOAL SETTING - OH NO!

Setting a goal for yourself and maintaining or completing it is probably one of the most difficult of tasks.  New Year's Eve resolution; a goal.  Losing weight; a goal.  Improving your performance at the gym; a goal.  Blocking time for work projects; yet another goal.  You have to start somewhere.  I choose November each year-before my manager asks for my next years' goals.  I have conditioned myself as a result of having multiple managers to be prepared to show my numbers.  I realized it did not matter who my manager was-male or female/experienced with true leadership skills or not-the bottom line is this:  I NEED to know where I am headed.  

Goals can be broken down.  An outline format or template may prove quite useful. They are less troubling and less scary when you do.  Keeping up with the accountability of your progress can be daunting.  Since I work in sales, I use my previous years'  production as a starter.  I consider the marketplace/trends to be realistic.  I challenge myself to increase my production over the previous year.  Take note of the months of the year which, tend to have less or more business than others such as during the vacation/summer months and at the holidays.  Prepare in advance so those months have the least negative/most positive impact on your production.  You still have to eat and pay your rent/mortgage each month.   Once you learn the trends of what and when you do things it is possible to also learn about yourself-your personality and accountability factors for instance or your weaknesses and strengths.  And, what days of the week are most productive as well as the down times of your day or when planning or calling is more effective.

Break it down!   If you don't have a clue where to begin and you know Mondays are sluggish after your weekend, start the day 30 to 60 minutes earlier.  Use 15 minutes of meditation to work on your focus.  Write a list of  tasks for the week.  Start the week off with a challenge or two.  Call that difficult client you put off from Friday and start fresh.  Get a hard task or two done.  It will make the remainder of the day flow smoother.  Set your mind up for success-not failure.  Don't forget to consider the interruptions throughout the day.  Business has become a Zoom and conference call model as opposed to face-to-face meetings.    You may not have control of the people who plan these events BUT, you do have control over your thought processes.  Realize your manager has to report to his higher ups for accountability and production.  If you are a manager, listen to your team.  Scheduling conference calls on Tuesday through Thursday when these days may be the teams highest production time is COUNTER productive.   Starting a meeting with a clear agenda with firm start and stop times will maintain focus and clarity of information.  15 to 30 minutes is recommended for virtual meetings.  52 minutes is cited as being the average meeting.  Participant age may be a factor.

These are all examples of goals and actual workplace experiences.  Of course, you may have different circumstances.  Your application to healthy goal practices will vary.  Setting goals is fluid and subject to change.  Obviously, if your top-selling product is no longer available you will need to change your strategy.  OR, if you obtain a new territory or have to add/delete accounts the goals will need adjustment.  Keep a copy of your goals handy to reference periodically and in a format you can easily change.  

DO WHAT IS RIGHT-EVEN WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING

YEARS AGO....I took money from someone.  I was a small child and no one was looking.  I was scared and still do not like to think about it; even though it was some loose change.  I did the wrong thing while no one was looking and I was fully aware of  'thou shall not steal'.  Certainly, not something you ever forget.  I learned that from my parents and Sunday school.  

I was working late one evening and one of the security people was in my building-something I did with regularity.  She usually stopped in as it was on her way home to catch up on some last minute emails- since we were not able to work from home as that time.    She impressed me with her knowledge and background at such a young age.  I happened to strike up a conversation with her about her experience  as an investigator and she elaborated on the stupid things people do. She went on to explain one particular encounter with a young woman.  The woman was caught on video removing money from a cash drawer.  There was no one around her.  She was all alone and seized the opportunity to stash handfuls of paper money down the front of her pants, close the drawer, and stand there waiting for the next customer.  AS IF, nothing had occurred.  The video was a bit grainy back in those days but, clear enough to catch the criminal act in its entirety.

WELL, when the investigator met with the woman she adamantly denied the event.  She said it was NOT her in the video.  Her supervisor and several co-workers had identified her prior to the initial meeting with the culprit.  When asked several times during the interview, the woman stood her ground stating 'you have the wrong person.'  It is known an investigator does not ask a question they already do not have the answer to.  Apparently, the young woman could not care less.  Her composure and her ability to remain calm during the interview struck the investigator as rather noteworthy.  And, somewhat incredulous at the time as most people caught on video would confess with a look of horror or guilt and some would even break down in tears as they explained the rationale behind 'the steal'.  They were fully aware of the consequences and knew they would be fired if they were caught.  They knew the risk.  I knew what I did was wrong.

Even when no one is looking, doing the right thing is a good practice.  And it doesn't mean about a criminal act.  I am talking about anything you do in life.  Practicing the right thing generally leads to sound judgment and provides you with opportunities for growth.  Others will respect you and take heed.  Lead by example; to your children and family, your community, and in your work place.  The rewards with not go unnoticed.

NETWORKING - EMBRACING THE NEWCOMER

 Have you ever attended an event-personal or business-for the first time and it seemed as if everyone glanced briefly toward you and then turned away?  How about when you walked up to a group-particularly of a business nature-and the group closed together with their backs facing as if to thwart your advance?  Or, you are at a wedding-all friends and family of the bride and groom RIGHT ???-their closest and most loved people in the whole world-and you receive a look of intrusion accompanied by a rather curt response.  Then, that back turning thing occurs.  I have.

In 2012, when I started my WOW group-Women Optimizing Women-in Carroll County, Maryland, this was an ongoing topic of discussion.  The majority of women shared similar experiences.  Two of the primary reasons I began this 'exclusive-to-women' group was to encourage rapport and build relationships.  I realized someone had to take this issue to task.  I wanted to educate the women of the importance of embracing other women into the group.  Making an introduction can be difficult by all parties.  Someone needs to initiate it and the women of WOW agreed it was their responsibility.  

There are reasons we behave the way we do.  Some people are insecure even though they have attended meetings with similar attendees for a period of time they still possess a level of awkwardness in meeting others.  They find a comfort level with maybe 5 or 10 people.  They span the venue for those familiar faces and feel a sense of relief when they find them.  Change.  It is not easy.  Others are worried they will forget peoples names or conversations they may have had previously OR what business they are associated with.  Yes-most of us are guilty of these social inadequacies.  You may have different reasons.  It's okay.  We are all there to meet and network.  

In the example of a networking group, walk up to 3 individuals you do not know and introduce yourself.  I like 3's.  So, I will do my best to meet 3 new people.  When someone attends whom you have never seen before, take the initiative to do the same.  Spend a few minutes chatting, exchange your business card, and speak their name several times during the conversation while maintaining eye contact.  Shake hands-this is ever so important.  When I look into someone's eyes and shake their hand, I am connected.  Sometimes, I have been known to keep the physical contact for a longer period of time than others.  For those not feeling confident with too much physical contact, extending an elbow for a mutual connection can provide a safe haven as well as a level of humor to a new relationship. A flip of the open palm and a 'prince or princess wave' may be more acceptable.  A hug goes a long way but, may be reserved for special connections.  

The level of satisfaction from your accomplishment will follow you out the door at departure from the venue and will provide the open gate to attend the next function.