EXPECTATIONS TO RESULTS

 Setting the right expectations for the results you want is a multi-step process.  It requires a clear path from point A to point B knowing there may be obstacles in the way and having a back up plan or additional strategy to get back on track.  Take advantage of setting aside creative mind or quiet time to focus.  Really focus.  On the end result.  Start backward if you want.  Include an accountability partner within the business or a close associate you may network well with.  

 For instance; there are 90 days to a quarter of the year-give or take a few days in the business world and depending on what your actual calendar looks like.  You want 100 new clients a quarter.  You have 90 days.  You know not all of your contacts, appointments, or phone conversations will result in a new client.  Some prospective clients may take several follow up communications.  Find out what type of communication your client prefers i.e. email, text.  

Scheduling is important.  Mondays and Fridays may be better days to do work.  Whereas, Tuesday through Thursday for business calls.  Allow yourself sufficient time.  I recently went to a local street in a small town notorious for the type of client I wanted to get to know and add to my contact information.  I knew 80% of the small businesses were a good fit for my business.  I reviewed and inquired about the local businesses beforehand.  I physically visited the businesses - that's the type of rapport I want to build - face-to-face.  Although some of the businesses were closed or required an appointment, the majority of the business owners were available and quite accommodating and engaging.  Each visit took approximately 30 minutes.  I even purchased a dress from one of them for my next community event!  REMEMBER YOUR BUSINESS CARDS!

I sent thank you notes out the very next day to the people I spoke with.  I emailed the rest and made an introduction.  I will follow up in a few days for the ones I emailed.  Each receptive prospect was added to my data  base for future communications and appointments.  Each week, I will reach out to 10  business owners in different areas.  My focus is 10.  I like the number.  I can make 10 calls a day.  I can meet 10 clients a day.  I can go to several networking functions a week and focus on acquiring 10 new contacts.  I also know my goal is subject to change as I grow and have referrals from my clients. 

Set the right expectations.  Years ago, I worked in a nursing home.  We were always short-staffed.  I was assigned 14-16 elderly clients over an 8 hour shift to wash, feed twice, provide a snack, get them ready for the dining room, AND take a 30 minute lunch with two 10 minute breaks for myself.  A comfortable level was 7-8 elderly folks.   It was chaotic and impossible to meet every task for every client.  There was little assistance from other staff when you needed it-they had the same problems.  

My point:  as you schedule your day/week/month/quarter and other goals your expectations should provide sustainable growth and results.  Review the results.  Do the expectations reflect the results?  What is needed to maintain the level of production to get the results you seek?  Keep records.  Perhaps using a CRM-Customer Relationship Management company to link to your website/portal may eliminate a lot of data entry and free up precious time to do other tasks to build your business.

VOLUNTEERISM

 All of us need help at some point in our lives.  Some of us need help more frequently as a result of physical, financial, or medical reasons.  I needed help and at one point in my life, I thought suicide was an answer.  I was as low as one could be.  My mind would not move forward.  I kept thinking negative thoughts.  I had little adult guidance in my formidable teen years.  If there were two choices and one of them was wrong, I chose the wrong one tossing caution to the wind.  I managed to survive-death was not what God wanted for me.  He knew better.  I would later recognize I was rebellious by nature.  I needed to do things my way.  I found some happiness and became thankful, grateful, and ate a huge serving of humble pie.

God tested me yet another time.  I was indigent with 3 children.  Lost practically everything I owned including my joy.  Luckily, the priest at our church witnessed first-hand what I was enduring and referred me to a shelter assisted and run by volunteers.  The stigmatism of being in that type of situation didn't enter my mind.  I didn't worry about what others thought.  My children and I were living in a safe and secure environment, and I could continue to attend college.  I had already started taking a class or two a semester focusing on employment in the medical field.  

Volunteers for massage, medical and GYN, tutoring, professional counseling, diet and meal planning, and even financial help was provided.  A savings account was set up for each participant with county funds deposited each month we stayed in the program.  Clothing was donated from the church's parishioners.  I still have and wear a navy-blue velvet coat as a memento.   Volunteers provided their time during the day for support.  Paid staff monitored and lived at the facility in the late evening to the early morning.  The volunteers had so much energy, patience, and devout caring for the women and children in the shelter.  It was meant to be a 3-to-5-year process.  I was their first candidate for the program in August of 1994.   I left in 10 months.

I was selected by the Director of Social Services to serve on the Advisory Board in Carroll County as the first public recipient to hold a position on the board.  I was still healing from the many emotional and mental wounds.  I was introduced and nurtured by volunteers of the community and accepted as an equal.  I became a volunteer; a volunteer to help make decisions-important decisions for the local community.

After receiving my bachelor's degree in biology and becoming employed, I began donating both my time and money back to the community in a variety of ways.  I had been clueless about volunteering and witnessed the strength, power, and selflessness of the kind acts of volunteers.  I continue to help and support various non-profits.  I give unconditionally to others in need of kindness.  You see, there is always a story within a person.  You may see a successful or strong person but, they have evolved from multiple layers of experiences.  Some can overcome the bad ones.  Some can take a rebellious behavior of self-destruction and realize the same rebelliousness can do good.  Not just for themselves, but for others.

BRAIN SLAPPING

 Years ago, when I was in my mid-twenties, I was succumbed by migraines.  The migraine headaches were intense.  Electrical impulses of pain seared through my brain and caused my eyes to hurt.  My speech was affected and would become slurred.  Part of my face would droop a bit-a temporary paralysis.  I would reach for the phone to notify someone for help and could not dial the number I knew all too well.  My mind was clear.  The brain could not send the right message to my fingers.  The effects could last for days.  There were times I laid in bed, the thick curtains drawn closed, and did my best to fall asleep to escape the intense pain.  This may sound bizarre-I forced myself to vomit from the turbulence in my stomach. The acids built up to a high level.  I actually felt relief once I vomited.  It took me days to get back to normalcy-to a time I was no longer exhausted from the migraines' wrath.

After having a 6-month long migraine I spent 10 days in the hospital. Two things were discovered by the head neurologist: a misconfiguration of blood vessels at the base of my skull-a genetic pre-disposition, and the realization dye used in the angiogram to find out about the blood vessels caused an allergic response.  A neurosurgeon was consulted; there was nothing the medical staff could do.  The dye propelled me into one of the worst migraines of all time.  The neurologist recommended biofeedback and meditation.  It took me 3 months to totally recover.  I could not even drive for a period of time. Thank goodness I had long-term disability insurance with my employer.

The biofeedback and meditation training spanned over the next couple of months.  Several techniques were taught to me.  One was to focus on sending blood from my heart, to brain, and to several extremities. A finger thermometer was used to take and measure my pre-and post-temperature.   With time, I learned to increase my blood flow and my body temperature.  Another exercise was to envision my body as an elevator-the head as the tenth floor and the soles of my feet as the first.  I sit with my back against the chair, shoulders back, feet flat on the floor.  I relax and focus on slowing my breathing and envisioning my stress point at the top of my head and slowly move it southbound. I went from floor ten to nine and so forth.  During the process, I learned to eliminate some stressful thoughts. I learned to calm my thoughts and take control of them.  I learned to close my eyes and eliminate all external sounds like the bedroom clock or the sound of the refrigerator in the kitchen.

After biofeedback therapy had been completed, and with my subsequent practice, I coined the phrase 'brain slapping.'  Brain slapping is the process of eliminating a constant or recurring thought upon its early entry of thought.  Once a negative thought surfaces, causes me frustration, or unhappiness I replace it with a calm thought or a recent pleasant experience.  To take a mental aspect of your body transforming it into a physical process for the elimination of a thought.    Perhaps you can relate when you have a nagging thought or post argument dialogue replays over and over again.  The thoughts can go on endlessly with no resolution.  The depth of frustration and anger can be self-defeating even debilitating.  Not only did brain slapping help me with migraines but, I began using it when I had an argument or disagreement with someone.  I also use it when something bothers me like a news item I heard or when I have a problem I just cannot resolve.  This requires practice; like a physical exercise to strengthen your muscles.

The reasons, the causes, the effort, and the results will vary.  In the beginning, I was a bit dismayed with my results and it was quite difficult to focus and remove the external noises.  Brain slapping is a habitual, self-help mindset.  It requires practice, a place of comfort, and consistency.  With all 3 of these comes a more streamlined and efficient process taking less time for the effective results.  

RETIREMENT CLUB

Retirement; the ultimate life goal.  What does it mean and how, when, and where should you retire?  Good questions!  I just retired on July 29th.  This was not my initial goal.  My goal was to start the retirement process in October of 2023.  My friends are mostly retired and have been encouraging and questioning me on why I still bothered to work when I could retire.  One of my best friends told me, "you will know exactly when it hits you.  You will say - stick a fork in me - I'm done.  Go ahead and plan all you want."  I have a pension, a 401k, and could start collecting Social Security.  The bottom line was, I wanted to work and accumulate some additional money and pay off some debt.  So, where did my plans go awry and how did I make the decision to pull the proverbial 'trigger' eighteen months ahead of schedule?

First, I had a goal of a certain amount of money in my 401k.  Not only did I reach that goal but, I surpassed it.  I knew I could always pay off the debt one way or another so that was an aside.  I knew I could work as a consultant or assist my spouse in real estate for additional income.  Fun stuff!  It was a conference call after my morning manicure at 11:00 am on April 14th.  The conference call was more of the same stuff.  The conference call was an hour long and ran over 15 minutes.  On what I consider a production day.  Conference calls, in my opinion, should not be held on production days.  At 1:15 pm, I leaned back in my creamy white ergo chair and thought.  I looked at the laptop.  I looked at all the emails.  It was time.  I WAS done.

Second, I had started other interests years before I decided to retire.  I knew I loved orchids.  I was introduced to them in 2009 by my brother-in-law:  Sharry Baby-a vanilla/chocolate scented one.  And, the love affair grew.  That same year, I began writing a book.  And, in 2012 I started a women's networking group.  I had already been blogging and I picked up the pace to blog once a week.  I focused on my book and began attending author signings and lectures.  I am starting a webpage to turn the networking group into a business designed to enhance and assist the relationships with professional business women.

Third, I don't know exactly where I will end up living.  I have alternatives.  Although I had initially had it well planned in 2004, much has changed during the past 18 years.  This is a part of the equation without any time or  limitation for location.  

I am thoroughly mindful of the advantages of retirement-well deserved I might add.  The ability to focus on ME.  What I want.  What I want to do and in the way I feel makes logical sense.  As well as the ability to continue to help others; another passion of mine.  I am glad I joined the retirement club and be a part of its proud members!

FORGIVENESS

Last week, my topic was on 'apologize'.  I am a thinker.  Apologies and forgiveness are quite different actions.  I have been accused of over-thinking by different people in my life including a former manager, co-workers, and friends.  That's fine.  They don't live in my head nor I theirs.  I certainly have enough to keep straight regarding my own thought processes.  I was raised and received first communion at our Lutheran church when I was about 13 years old.  My junior high school was right across the street so, it was easy to get there if I needed to attend classes after school.  I really wrestled with the religious teacher and challenged her every step of the way.  I never mastered the bible teachings.  I refer to myself as faith based and attend both Lutheran and Catholic churches on occasion.  But, one of the concepts I am confident of today is forgiveness. 

My mother put forgiveness rather simply; 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you.'  I have some people that do not agree with my belief; if someone does or says something INTENTIONALLY-I use upper case, bold, and italicized for a reason-to harm another person it is not my place to forgive them.  I am of the belief God is the forgiver of sins-as a higher power-has already decided this for me and his son paid for my sins with his death.   I put the situation in his hands.  I live this way.  I believe this.  I do not necessarily insist OR attempt to persuade others to believe this-they have their ways and I am rather respectful of them.  I do not mind sharing my belief.  

I believe in prayer.  I practice prayer on a consistent basis usually praying for strength, for others, or for a quick recovery and good health.  Also, I ask for forgiveness for the error in my ways for things I have done either intentionally or in poor judgment.   The word judgement is used by the British while us folks in the states have deliberately changed the word and it is 'traditionally' spelled without the 'e'.  Trust me about this and forgive me if you do not agree. 

In addition, I think our society likes to say they ask for forgiveness and also like the feeling of granting another individual forgiveness for an act or deed of harm against them or someone they care for.  A very close family member has repeatedly told me I am wrong in my view of forgiveness and has made several  attempts to encourage me to view forgiveness as an act I am responsible for and I alone hold the key to relinquishing the perpetrator from their misdeed.  Okay.  I can certainly understand her interpretation and I definitely am glad she takes it upon herself to actually think about both her misdeeds and those of others.

I do think there are still others not even giving a damn as to whether one or the other is even an issue.  It is not in their vocabulary.  It is not something they even venture toward.  It is not a factor in how they conduct their life.  I bring up the topic merely to point out the view points much as you may see frequently in my blogs.  I do believe in black and white.  I do believe your actions result in consequences-good or bad.  I do understand there may be grey areas or cause for disagreement.  

What I also realize, and most importantly so, is misdeeds are done throughout the life span.  We have the power of control over our own actions-not of others.  It is how we control what we do, think, and say.  And also, how we manage our mind and the flow of the thoughts within.